


Trust Fall

by ArubaBlue



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Battle Buddies, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, M/M, Medical Experimentation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:33:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArubaBlue/pseuds/ArubaBlue
Summary: The making and unmaking of Jeremy Dooley and Ryan Haywood
Relationships: Jeremy Dooley/Ryan Haywood
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	1. Foundation

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: As with all RPF, please remain respectful of the boundaries set by AH, Rooster Teeth, and anyone involved with the source material in any capacity. This is a work of fiction used to explore my own ideas, not to reflect anything true in these peoples’ lives.
> 
> WARNING: Discussion of abuse – mental, physical, and medical. Discussion of unethical experimentation, body modification, and unhealthy relationships. In severity, about on par with experimentation seen in superhero movies. 
> 
> Note: I just started a tumblr, called arubablue12. If you’d like, come talk to me!

Nobody at the Agency existed before it. If they're lucky, they're brought in when they're young, before they need to be truly broken in. 

Edgar meets the newest agent on a Tuesday. Dooley. A small boy, physically durable, but angry. He takes to combat and training well, if only in order to fight his handlers. Edgar is certain that he will grow up to be a great agent. 

However, the reason why Edgar was brought in to squash his constant rebellious tendencies. He needs a partner, and Edgar will have to choose carefully among the other recruits who would serve best. 

With Dooley's rage, Edgar certainly needs to choose a stabilizing influence - ideally one who has been with the Agency for a longer time. One who's "gotten with the program," so to speak. With that criteria, he knows exactly which one to introduce. One who had taken to training a lot more easily than this boy did. 

He has the other agent delivered to Dooley's headquarters with little fanfare - after all, he has training to conduct with Dooley in the lab. He indeed fails to introduce the second agent, but Dooley takes to it immediately, so Edgar doesn't pay it much mind. 

***

When Jeremy is returned to his quarters, there's a taller boy inside. He’s long and lean and has sandy blond hair and icy blue eyes. Jeremy is not impressed. "Who the hell are you?" He demands. 

The boy blinks up at him, then shrinks meekly away from Jeremy. He ducks his head, shoulders raised, like he expects Jeremy to strike him. Jeremy feels immensely confused. 

"Hello? Can you speak?" The boy looks at him with sad blue eyes. He looks like he's about to cry. Jeremy takes a better look at the boy. He seems thin, neglected. Scared. "Hey, are you alright? How did you get in here?" 

The boy bites his lip, then points to the door. Then he mimes a stethescope. 

"Doctor? Oh, wait. That Edgar guy?" The boy nods. "Are you... are you a prisoner here too?" Jeremy asks. The boy pauses for a long moment, then finally shrugs slowly. 

"It's okay. I am too." Jeremy says, relieved that this boy doesn't seem intent on hurting him.   
The boy, seeming to sense that Jeremy wasn't a threat either, looks him over, up and down. His mouth works, as though he wants to say something, and his hands hover beside him as though he wants to reach out. However, all he does is watch Jeremy, looking conflicted and confused. 

Jeremy decides to help him out. He reaches out for the boy's hand. 

"Hi. I'm Jeremy." The boy looks absolutely shocked, but doesn't stop holding Jeremy's hand.   
"What's your name?" The boy stares blankly at him, then slowly shrugs. Jeremy blinks. 

"You don't have one?" The boy nods. "Well. How about we give you one?" Jeremy asks, and the boy tilts his head. He presses their joined hands against Jeremy's chest. "You want me to choose?" Jeremy asks. The boy nods. 

"I don't know, man, your name is a big deal." The boy shrugs. 

"Well. Okay. I guess, maybe... James?" The boy blinks, glancing around thoughtfully. "Not it, huh? Well, how about Ryan?" This time, the boy nods eagerly. 

"Nice. Ryan. I like that." Jeremy says, and Ryan grabs his other hand to hold them both gleefully. Jeremy finds the display incredibly cute. 

"Nice to meet you, Ryan."


	2. Exploration

Ryan has no memory of his before-time. As far back as his memory goes, he’s been in the Agency facility. He’s meticulously trained in combat, in mathematics and electronics and psychology and languages (even if he never gets to speak). Everything under the sun. He doesn’t know what he’s being trained for.

The man, the Doctor, orchestrates the training. Ryan’s only seen him a few times, but everyone else in the facility seems to take orders from him. The Doctor is the man who made Ryan what he is.

When he is young, trainers teach him. People in black uniforms who fight him mercilessly until he can perfect his instincts, until he can manage to use his superior skills to defeat them. Typically, he was left bruised and battered and alone after training, left to try and lick his wounds in peace.

He hates it. He tries to resist. But nothing ever gives. Nobody seems at all moved by Ryan’s protests – he comes no closer to staging an escape. Day after day after day, new instincts are drilled into him. Instincts to submit to his trainers, to take his beatings without protest.

Ryan is gradually conditioned. He eventually forgets about wanting to leave the Facility, loses his memories of his before-time. He’s long since learned to master the training programs as soon as possible. Now they aren’t even conducted by people, but by computers and AI designed and re-designed every day to provide him a more difficult opponent.

Nowadays, there’s no reaction from anything, anywhere, when Ryan does anything. When he masters his programs, the computer just shuts down, and Ryan is left, alone and panting, in the training room. Even when he fails his programs and is beaten into unconsciousness, he always wakes up to a shut down computer and a silent, empty room. No additional punishment. No comment. No encouragement to try again. Nothing at all.

Ultimately, nobody forces Ryan to conduct his training (not that they need to, anymore). Nobody threatens him. In fact, nobody speaks to Ryan at all. The Doctor’s working time is spent behind closed doors with the other recruits. During Ryan’s spare time, the Doctor is somewhere else in the facility and the other recruits kept away from him. Ryan, left to complete his own tasks in solitude, doesn't even see anyone for weeks (Months? Years?) at a time.

Ryan just takes his beatings, gradually improves, and eventually masters each daily program in time for the next one. He studies his books as soon as they’re placed on his shelf, he exercises and programs and practices all his skills with no resistance at all. As a result, it seems that the Doctor lost interested in him entirely. For all Ryan knows, the Doctor left the programs on a timer and is paying no attention to them at all, and Ryan is doing this all for nothing. He won't risk not doing it, though, so on he drones.

Ryan is not naïve enough to believe that being the center of the Doctor’s attention would necessarily be any better. At the same time, however, some part of him longs for any attention at all. Ryan wouldn’t need much, but he still feels guilty and strange that he wants attention. The other recruits obviously need and deserve it more. It was just... hard to maintain the belief that his work (and, really, his life by extension) had any real sort of meaning or value.

While he's still too frightened not to do his tasks when they're assigned, other parts of him wonder if the Doctor - if anyone, really - is even watching, even caring. Honestly, the Doctor could have died and left the computers to run Ryan’s environment and Ryan wouldn’t know. He could be trapped in the facility like a hamster on a wheel, running endlessly, all for nothing.

He wonders, once, if it's part of some experiment of the Doctor's, to see what complete solitude would do, but then feels guilty for being narcissistic enough to assume that. The Doctor just has more important work to do. He couldn’t have time for everything, after all, especially not for something as trivial as Ryan's training.

***

Since there is nobody else in the Doctor’s facility that Ryan can reach, it’s always horribly quiet. As he becomes accustomed to his training, Ryan gains a great deal of free time. He's a hard worker, so he gets through the Doctor's tasks quickly, and the remainder of his time, when he runs out of things to accomplish, is spent roaming the halls and finding his own diversions. He was scared to move around the facility at first, but then realized that if he weren’t allowed to do so, he would _certainly_ know. So he decides to explore the facility for as long as he’s allowed.

Eventually, Ryan finds a room full of mice, and it is such an incredible relief to have finally encountered another living thing. He knows they must be for experimentation and that he shouldn't get attached. He finds, however, perhaps embarrassingly, that he craves the company of another living thing to such an extent that he can't actually resist. He's not sure what experiments have been conducted on the mice, but it scarcely matters.

The mice squeak and press against the plastic of their little boxes, eyes following Ryan' fingers and tiny feet pressed against the walls. Ryan has never seen anything so delightful in his life. There must be hundreds of mice in this room. He carefully opens a control box and picks one of the larger mice up, petting it gently between the ears.

He shivers as the mouse wiggles, its downy fur heavenly against Ryan’s fingers. He carefully cups the mouse in his hand, sitting down and curling up with his knees to his chest, basking in the cacophony of noises that the little creatures are making, the feeling of other consciousnesses, other eyes, other lives nearby, and interacting with him.

The Agency has isolated him from the rest of humankind for so long that he can’t remember affectionate touch anymore, can’t remember what it felt like to have a friendly, mutually desired conversation. Ryan supposes that's sad. Maybe if he were better at his studies, someday he could join the Doctor in his lab, or see some of the other recruits without getting in the way too much.

He probably would never be good enough to do what they did, but he could clean glassware or do all the annoying soldering, or something. He's not sure if that would be fun or miserable, but it would at least be something. But, for now, all he has is the mice.

The mouse room is locked the next time Ryan tries to visit.

He’s alone again.

***

Ryan isn’t sure how much time passes between that incident and the most tumultuous day of his life in the Facility. He’s shepherded to a different room than his original one, although it’s similarly barren. He doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t think much of it. It’s not like he has any power over whatever they’re doing, anyway.

When he sees a boy return to the room, he could have passed out. He feels his heart race, his body tense, his forehead bead with sweat. Another person. _Another person_.

Ryan wants to speak, wants to do something, but his voice has long since left him.

“Who the hell are you?” The boy says, and Ryan shrinks back. Of course, of course, he’s going to hurt him. But he’s here, _he’s here_.

It doesn’t take long for the boy to reveal that he wasn’t going to harm him. He gifts Ryan a name, and it’s such a strange phenomenon, to have a name. Ryan can’t even recall the last time he’s needed one.

His body and his mind feel so strange, to be around another person, around Jeremy. He feels, down to his bones, the need not to let him go. He needs to stay by Jeremy’s side.

They even touch each other, hold hands, and it causes Ryan so much joy that he can’t resist grabbing both of them. The boy smiles and looks for a moment as starstruck as Ryan feels.

“Nice to meet you, Ryan.”


	3. Learning

As time wears on, Ryan grows and strengthens almost unnaturally quickly, rapidly and extremely surpassing Jeremy’s stature. Jeremy might be jealous if it weren’t such a big fuck you to Edgar and every other crony who worked this lab and treated Ryan like shit. According to his data sheet (it's so weird to think that his partner has a data sheet), he is supposed to be stabilize and defend Jeremy so he supposes it makes sense. 

More excitingly, over the next while (there’s no way to tell how time passes at the Agency), Ryan asks Jeremy to start teaching him how to speak. Jeremy privately wonders how young Ryan was when he was taken to the Agency, for him not to know - or at least not to remember - what his name was or how to speak. 

Jeremy is happy to comply. He spends all of his spare time away from the forced training teaching Ryan English and all about the world on the outside. He doesn't mind doing it, honestly – and he’s surprised because he would never be this patient with anyone on the outside. But Ryan is sweet and affectionate and always eager to see Jeremy and try to talk to him. 

Jeremy finds himself feeling more and more protective of his friend. They’re kept separate throughout the day, but Jeremy gathers from Ryan’s signing that he has his own training regimen, that he needs to conduct alone. He has nobody to talk to throughout the day, nothing to do but training. 

Sometimes, he comes back so beaten and battered that he can’t even focus on his lessons, just lies half-conscious as Jeremy frets over him (not that he can do much). As far as Jeremy knows, he’s the only one taking any care of Ryan beyond what the empty facility provides. Certainly the only one paying him any mind. 

It makes Jeremy feel terrible. Ryan had clearly been kept in this condition for a long time – he barely seems to understand what family and friends are, and he’s rarely if ever practiced his language skills through speech. At least Jeremy still understood the outside. Still wanted to go back there. For what it’s worth, Ryan doesn't seem to mind anymore – rather, he appears grateful just to spend time with Jeremy. 

***

Edgar thinks very little about Haywood. He’s broken in – Edgar’s job is over with him, and he prefers to allow him to incubate independently. That is, right up until he gets the first sign that Dooley might be too attached. 

He's arrived to take Dooley for training, but Dooley is holding Haywood's hands, yelling cheerfully. "Holy shit, Ryan! You spoke!" Jeremy says, proudly gathering Haywood into his arms. 

"J-Jeremy." The boy stammers in a weak, raspy little voice, seeming delighted at Dooley's attention. 

"...Ryan?" Edgar asks. He didn't know Jeremy had given it a name. His brow furrows in thought. Perhaps the partnership was a mistake. Maybe he should separate them again. There was a careful balance he wanted to strike. 

Dooley should stay with the Agency on Haywood’s behalf, not turn Haywood away from the Agency. Haywood was meant to stabilize Dooley, but he would need to be careful about how attached Dooley would become. 

How irritating this all was. Edgar was a research scientist, not a psychologist. If only the higher-ups at the Agency understood that “trainer” was not synonymous with “behavioralist.” 

"Let go of it. We have work to do." Dooley looks up at Edgar, an expression of surprise mixed with something like horror on his face. 

"...It?" He asks quietly, something unrecognizable in his voice. Edgar frowns. 

"Go to the lab. I'll be there shortly." Jeremy stares at Edgar with the same expression as before, before he carefully trains it into something unreadable. He says nothing and turns away. Edgar thinks little more of it. Edgar turns towards "Ryan." 

"You're meant to teach him about your role here, do you understand?” The boy nods meekly. Still obedient. Edgar edges in on him. “You’re meant to convince him of his value to the Agency.” The boy shrinks away as Edgar continues to advance. “Don’t get any ideas.” He commands, and the boy leans his head down and stares at his feet. 

Edgar figures that Dooley can keep his little pet for now, as long as he didn’t do anything stupid on its behalf. He'll simply have to wait and see how their bond develops. As much as he hates to admit it, Haywood was an absolute natural when it came to training. He pushes the boy back into Dooley’s quarters, and shuts and locks the door behind himself. 

When he finally joins Dooley in the lab, the boy acts particularly cold. Edgar isn’t sure why. 

***

Throughout training, Jeremy’s mind is focused exclusively on Ryan and what’s happening to him. Jeremy curses quietly to himself as he returns for evening opening time. Edgar had seemed annoyed, earlier, and Jeremy wouldn’t be surprised if he took it out on Ryan while Jeremy was away. 

Luckily, he's at least arrived at his room close to the evening opening time. But if he strains his hearing, he can tell that Ryan is groaning quietly on the other side of the door. He has to wait outside for a few minutes while the door unlocks, and it’s torture. It seems like hours before the door finally hisses and swings open. 

For the first time, Ryan doesn't immediately rush to meet Jeremy, instead sitting curled up, one hand rubbing his face, the other clutched over his abdomen. His face is bruised, bloody and tear-stained, and he won't look at his partner. Something in Jeremy dies a little. 

"Oh, god, Rye." Jeremy kneels next to his partner. Ryan whimpers. "I know, buddy. God, I'm so sorry. I know." Jeremy gathers his partner up into his arms, and, despite Ryan's clear upset, it only takes a few seconds for him to give up and wrap his arms around Jeremy' neck. As Jeremy holds him, he gradually starts to calm down.

Once Ryan is calm again and Jeremy is not slowly dying inside, Jeremy can actually think. “Are you alright? God, you must be in so much pain.” Ryan’s gaze wanders. Jeremy bites his lip. “Do you wanna do a lesson today?” 

Ryan just shakes his head, looking down at his feet. Jeremy doesn’t know all of what happened to him, but it feels like they’ve lost significant progress, somehow. Ryan signs that he wants to eat, and he wolfs his rations down greedily. He hadn’t been fed for a long time, he signs. 

All Jeremy can think about is that Edgar is a piece of shit. Jeremy never liked him or anything, but seeing how much worse he treats Ryan, even compared to Jeremy, Jeremy doesn’t look at him quite the same way ever again. 


	4. Escape

The relationship needs testing. Edgar knows he ought to discern sooner, rather than later, exactly what Dooley and Haywood were, and what he needed them to be. 

So, he decides to conduct the ultimate test. He unlocks the enclosure door. 

***

Jeremy had learned through painful experience never to check the door. He’d tried, once, to force the door open, and Edgar had beaten Ryan nearly to death. Since then, Jeremy remained far too scared to even touch the damn thing. 

But today, it was unlocked. Jeremy can only tell because the little light next to the lock is green today. It's never been green before. It's always red, even when the doors are open, thanks to computer controls. But, it really can't mean anything else, can it? It has to be open. 

Something had to have happened - he's being tested, or - or tricked, or something that Jeremy hasn't thought of yet. The fear of the trap is overwhelming, crushing him down against the far wall. Helplessly, his head droops into his hands, gaze staying stuck on the door. Edgar was watching. Someone always was. Someone always knew.

Jeremy shuts his eyes, trying to calm himself. For some reason, he's hyperventilating, and his heart is racing, and he's not sure how to stop. He's not sure why the fear is striking so hard now, when he's not in any overt danger. But if he's this scared - if the danger is so apparent to him, he knows Ryan must be in even worse shape. They always treated Jeremy better than they did Ryan. Slowly, carefully, he creeps forward, reluctantly placing his hand on the doorknob. He lets out a long, low whine, but pushes the door open anyhow. Ryan needs him. 

The facility is huge, sprawling, and completely empty. Jeremy realizes that the portion he was usually in is just a small fraction of the whole area. Now that he was free to roam (and he still doesn't completely believe that he's free) he finds the area confusing and shockingly labyrinthine. He's not sure if this is because the features of the place are so monotonous or because he's filled with so much fear and adrenaline that he's shaking. 

Jeremy can see through the one-way mirror that Ryan is huddled in the back corner of his training room, eyes bright with distress. He looks just as scared as Jeremy felt, staring at the little green light next to the lock of his door. 

He's clearly thinking the same thing Jeremy did about it. Jeremy grabs the handle of his door, and given the absolute silence of the facility, the sound of it seems to boom. It clearly scares Ryan, as he lets out a startled gasp and scrambles back away from the noise. Jeremy carefully cracks the door open, acting slowly to keep Ryan from getting too scared. 

"Ryan?" His partner's eyes are wide and disbelieving. He shakily straightens up. 

Quietly, in a voice almost below perception, he murmurs, “Jeremy?”

“C’mon, Ryan. This might let be our best chance.” Ryan shakes his head urgently. 

“Trap.” He rasps, then scans the room for the cameras. 

“Rye, we need to get out of here. What if it isn’t a trap? We need to try!” 

Ryan shakes his head again, desperately. He doesn’t even want to try! Jeremy fights down the frustration with Ryan – he’d probably tried in the beginning. Edgar’s really done a number on him. 

“Ryan, if you don’t come with me, I – I don’t know if I can save you. I might just have to save myself.” Jeremy says, and he hates himself for it. Ryan tries to hide his heartbroken expression but makes no move to follow Jeremy. 

***

Edgar watches contemplatively. Maybe this relationship wasn’t as much of a threat as he thought. Not as beneficial, either. He jots down a few notes. 

True, leaving the door unlocked was not the most subtle method of entrapment, but the essential pieces were in place. Dooley opted to escape just the way Edgar thought he would, and equally predictably, Haywood opted to stay behind.

What Dooley did next would determine how the recruits would need to be pushed. 

***

Jeremy makes it down two hallways away from Ryan’s training room before he stops. Thinks about Ryan, his hurt expression, his raspy, underused voice, the pure joy radiating from him with any small praise from Jeremy. 

Just stands there for a long moment. 

He knows he’s blowing his chances by just standing here. Every second he spends is another second that whatever monkey working for Edgar would be able to catch him on the security camera. 

But, would it be worth it to escape if Ryan remained? 

Ryan could be right, the whole thing could be a trap. Probably was, honestly, but Jeremy was willing to take even the most infinitesimal chance of escape over staying here longer. 

Jeremy thinks of Ryan getting beaten when Jeremy tried to escape. Getting beaten when Jeremy tried to teach him to speak. Getting beaten when Jeremy left him behind.

He’s presented with an answer, one that he already knew. Really, there was never even a question. 

He turns back. 

***

Jeremy left him behind. Ryan knew it was fake, the whole thing, but now that Jeremy was gone, he wondered if maybe he was right. He understood why Jeremy needed to try. If he’d stayed behind, he’d resent Ryan forever for holding him back from what could have been his chance. Ryan just doesn’t want to be alone again. 

Then again, when has life ever given him what he wants? 

He’s interrupted from his thoughts by his door cracking open again. It’s Jeremy. Ryan stares blankly at him. 

It’s really him. Did he… did he really come back? Just for Ryan? 

“Rye, I’m so sorry. I was being stupid. I – I can’t leave you behind. I’d never leave you behind. I’m so sorry.” Ryan just shakes his head weakly, resting a hand on Jeremy’s chest and gently pushing him away. 

“No. I think you’re right, Ryan. It’s a trap, it must be a trap. There’s nothing in store for us but pain if we try to escape.” Jeremy says, and something in Ryan falters at the fatalism in those words, as correct as they might be. “Now, let’s go back to our quarters, alright?” 

Ryan nods feebly, and Jeremy thinks about fresh air and sunlight and missed opportunities. He smiles at Ryan and leads him through the hallways back to their room. 

***

As he watches, Edgar doesn’t smile. He sees no need to celebrate. He simply enjoys the faint satisfaction of a hypothesis proven. 


End file.
